Wow, I know a lot of people who thought their divorce hearing date would be Independence Day. Some were right. They were at last free to go their separate ways, with assets and debts disentangled and divided. Actually, they could have been free in that respect months earlier if they had worked with a professional family mediator, with advice from attorneys, to make their decisions and divide their property, retirement accounts, bank accounts, credit card accounts, etc. A Mediated Property Settlement Agreement would do the job and could later be incorporated into the court’s Order of Divorce.
For parents of minor children, the date of the Divorce Order is not Independence Day. The kids need their parents to communicate (without using the kids as messengers) and cooperate about parenting plans and transportation for the kids for years to come. Even if most communication goes through email or text messages, each parent’s plans and schedule may have to be coordinated with the other parent’s plans and schedule. Many parents manage this easily enough on their own. Others like using online software for keeping track of their children's schedules — routine and vacation times with each parent, sports practices, doctor appointments, Girl Scout trips, etc. One good resource for coordinating schedules and keeping the other parent informed about events and appointments is www.ourFamilyWizard.com. Whatever works for you, be good to your kids. Let them have the freedom to be kids playing and having fun, not worrying about their parent’s quarrels.
The author, Virginia L Colin, Ph.D., is a Professional Family Mediator certified by the Virginia Supreme Court. She is not an attorney or a therapist. This article is for informational purposes only. Nothing here should be construed as legal advice. More information is available at fairfaxmediator.com.